The 5 Love Languages Romance has garnered a lot of attention in movies, novels, and pop psychology publications. But is there a scientific basis for these languages to be part of key relationships? What if you and your partner have different “languages”?
In this article, I wanted to share how researchers and psychologists in the field are looking at love language. The 5 love languages can serve as a guide to understanding your partner better but remember not to take them too literally. It’s always best to communicate with your partner about your wants and needs in the relationship so that both of you can work around the issue.
History of the 5 love languages
Marriage and family counselor, Gray Chapman, features 5 languages of love in his book to help couples express their love in deeply meaningful ways. These languages of love are:
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
These love languages are not based on clinical research, but many studies have examined their effectiveness since they were popularized.
People with this language of love tend to express or feel love by giving gifts. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, it just has to serve the purpose of showing your partner that you care about him.
Studies show that giving gifts strengthens relationships. More interestingly, a recent study found that giving an expensive gift is more effective than a physical gift because it elicits a stronger emotional response.
Physical touch transcends romantic relationships because research shows the importance of contact in children’s socioemotional development. In one study, researchers analyzed the importance of physical contact in romantic relationships and found a strong correlation between overall relationship satisfaction. In addition, it is easier to manage conflicts when they involve hugging, kissing, and holding hands.
Words of Affirmation
This love language involves giving and receiving positive, positive, and appreciative verbal communication. Positive words have the power to make you feel valued, trusted, and loved. Studies show that claiming someone’s innate qualities (i.e. their innate nature, personality, qualities) is more effective than claiming dextrin (i.e. their success and accomplishments ).
Acts of Service
Making thoughts for a loved one is another way to express love. According to the survey, married couples believe that sharing housework is a prerequisite for a successful marriage.
And whether or not you use your love language, it’s still important to participate so that you and your partner are happy.
Spending quality time with a loved one requires taking advantage of the time you give yourself. In one study, researchers found that married couples spending their free time together show better quality of their relationship than those who don’t. This is true even for couples who have a long-distance relationship.
While research supports the 5love languages, try to prevent them from restricting you if you feel that your partner’s languages of love are “serving acts”. It means you have to express all your love on purpose. The languages of love should not be taken literally and can change over time. In addition, many people usually have more than one language.
It is still better to communicate and tell each other how you want to give or receive love.