77 Funny alcohol quotes ideas- Funny & Memes, Drinking Quotes

Funny Drinking quotes

Looking for quotes about Funny drinking? We round out the best collection of funny drinking quotes, sayings, captions, status, and cool one-liners (including pictures, pictures, and memes) that will refresh your crazy drunken memories with your partners.

Chilling with your buddies and enjoying a drink (beer, wine, or tea or coffee) is the best time spent. It is like therapy for all your stress and worries in life. We have got the perfect quotes to caption your fun pictures with your best buddies in happy moments.

Funny Drinking Quotes

  • “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” ― Bette Davis

  • “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” ― Ogden Nash

  • “The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years.” – Michael Caine

  • ‎”I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.” – Ava Gardner

  • Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ~Oscar Wilde

  • A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. – Louis Pasteur

  • Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right. —F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her. – W.C. Fields

  • He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato


  • Funny Drinking Quotes

  • Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. -Pope John XXIII

  • “Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?” Noel Coward

  • “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not” – Coco Chanel

  • “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ― Rumi

  • “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker

  • “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C Fields

  • “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” -Drew Carey

  • “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” – Joe E Ellis

  • “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

  • “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King

  • “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

  • “There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.” ~ Anonymous

  • “I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.” – Tom Waits

  • “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart

  • “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”― Joan Collins

  • “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time” -Catherine Zandonella

  • “24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” ~ H.L. Mencken

  • “Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.” ~ Finley Peter Dunne

  • “I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” ~ W.C. Fields

  • “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” ~ Henny Youngman

  • “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” ~ Frank Sinatra


  • “There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” – Raymond Chandler

  • “Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early

  • “I heard this one the other day… When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gave them vodka, mix them together, and have a party!!”

  • “Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.”- Tom Waits

  • “Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodka, but let me check in whisky.”

  • “Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • “I realize I may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I’d rather be someone’s shot of Tequila anyway.”

  • “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”- Bette Davis

  • “Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient Champagne.”—Dorothy Parker

  • “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not” – Coco Chanel



Funny drinking quotes for friends

  • “Good friends wine together.”

  • “Friends don’t let friends wine alone.”

  • “Keep calm and drink wine with friends.”

  • “Friends and wine… the older, the better.”  

  • “Drinks are best when mixed with friends!”

  • “Friends are therapists you can drink with.”

  • “Friends don’t let friends drink cheap beer.”

  • “My drinking friends have a camping problem.”

  • “One Tequila, two tequila, three tequila. Floor.”

  • “Friends don’t let friends drink prosecco alone.”

  • “When I saw you drinking, I knew we’d be friends.”

  • “You bring the alcohol, I’ll bring the bad decisions.”       
  •                                                                                             Funny drinking quotes for friends

  • “The best beers are the ones we drink with friends.”                                                                                                 

  • “Hangovers are temporary. Drunk stories are forever.”                                                                                                   

  • “Twinkle, twinkle, little star point us to the nearest bar!”

  • “A true friend reaches for your hand and puts a wine glass in it.”

  • “Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring beer.”

  • “Drink what makes you happy with friends who make you laugh.”

  • “Friendship is sitting over a drink and forgetting the worries in life.”

  • “My friends speak of my drinking…. but they know not of my thirst.

  • “Friendship is… sitting over a drink and forgetting the worries in life.”

  • “I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.” ― Don Marquis

  • “If you don’t drink how will your friends know you love them at 2 a.m.?”

  • “Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in Alcohol. Different taste in men.”

  • “Sometimes the best therapy is drinking and talking shit with your besties.”    

Beer Funny Drinking quotes

  • “After drinking four Martinis, my husband turns into a disgusting beast. And after the fifth, I pass out altogether.” – Anonymous

  •  “All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” -Homer Simpson

  • “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” -Ernest Hemmingway

  • “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” -Winston Churchill

  • “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” -For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

  • “An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.” -Confucius

  • “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”


  • Beer Funny Drinking quotes

  •  “…there is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer.” -Peter Richmond

  • “[I recommend]… bread, meat, vegetables and beer.” -Sophocles’ philosophy of a moderate diet

  • “A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion.” -Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture

  • “A little bit of beer is divine medicine.” –Paracelsus, Greek physician

  • “A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience – except that it is soluble in alcohol.” – Thomas Blackburn

  • “A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” -W.C. Fields

Final words

We hope you enjoy these totally funny drinking quotes also if you have quotes about drinking let me know in the comment box. If you like these articles please share them with your cheers friends. 

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